Hogwarts Bouncy Castle of Love
by Children of the Shadows
Summary: To many, Sirius in a bouncy castle may spell disaster, but to Remus it is where he has found true love. Magical AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: ****Hogwarts Bouncy Castle of Love**

**Artwork Disclaimer:** "Hogwarts Castle" by Luntary ( luntary. deviantart )

**Warnings:** Magical AU and extreme silliness that might cause cringing.

**Rating:**M

**A/N: **This was inspired by a reviewer (whom I cannot remember right now; sorry!) who had actually told me she had an idea about writing a story that involved Sirius and a bouncy castle. I told her then that she had better write it because I'm stealing the damn idea otherwise (it was gold!). She did write it. I stole it anyway. :p **So for those of you who have already read this story, I've just decided to split it into two chapters because the original was too long. It's still the same story and hasn't really changed!**

* * *

Part 1

'Welcome to the Hogwarts bouncy castle!'

Sirius's eyes look close to popping out of his head. 'Mate, you have got to be joking!'

'Only the best for my son,' James smiles with pride that is borne from knowing that he is indeed, the best father in the world. 'You honestly did not think I would celebrate my first born's very first birthday with a regular boring party, did you?' He scoffs. 'James Potter has a name to uphold. If I threw a regular party, our friends would say that I've been domesticated.' James's face curls in disgust as he whispers the next accusation that Sirius himself is guilty of making: '_whipped!' _

'James, I need someone to bring the cupcakes out!' Lily's voice calls out from the kitchen window, and James immediately scrambles to the back door, all pride and status forgotten.

Sirius has no intention of retracting his accusations towards James.

However, he cannot deny that the party is simply brilliant. The entire back garden is swamped by a massive castle; an exact rubbery miniature replica of Hogwarts right down to the scale. The attention to detail is magnificent. From the outside, Sirius can see the suits of armour and the paintings that had sighed and berated them when he and James had been plotting pranks in school. If he tilts his head far enough, he can also see the Great Hall's enchanted ceiling mimicking the perfectly blue sky outside. Though Sirius supposes that much of the furniture has been forgone to allow the children to bounce and run freely.

The wonders that money can buy, Sirius muses as he advances towards the castle. James has really not held back with extravagances; starting from the enormous three tier cake, four course buffet, the elephant rides, the puppet show, trapeze artists, and of course, the brilliant Hogwarts bouncy castle. Without realising, he has already toed off both of his shoes and is in the process of taking off his jacket. Dimly, he is aware of a clown (or is it one of the mimes?) approaching him to warn him of the dangers of having an adult in a bouncy castle made for children. Sirius disregards him. There is not a single clown in this world that can rob Sirius of the privilege of bouncing on the bounciest bouncy castle Sirius will probably ever bounce on. Sirius does not insult the brilliance of the bouncy castle by simply bouncing on. No, he honours it by starting to run from a considerable distance, picking up speed as he gets closer. A wild grin forms on his face as nears and leaps, transforming mid jump to his signature Animagus form.

A big black dog, named Padfoot, lands right in the middle of the front entrance and lets out a triumphant howl. The children that were standing there, fall back on their behinds in shock. Sirius grins a doggy grin, before bounding across the halls of Hogwarts with his tongue lolling out. He leaves a stream of terrorised children behind him, all of whom are falling over and bouncing into each other from the force of Padfoot's leaps. Many of them have already burst out crying or are screaming from fear, but Padfoot only hears his own joyful barks. He pants with excitement, his head swivelling as he wonders what he should explore next. His adrenaline is shot so high that even as he stands still, his paws are moving in tandem in a mock trot. He hasn't been this excited since he and James had _accidentally_ caused a flood of flobberworms in the Auror offices.

From there, there is no stopping Padfoot. He bounces on the bouncy rubber beds in the girl's dormitories, sending all the little girls on top of it flying. He eats the candies that the Potter's house elves have prepared specially for the children who visit the kitchens. He leaps from staircase to staircase when they start to shift midway. He chases his own tail, round and round, in the dungeons; and then splashes around in the cauldrons full of coloured water that serves as mock potions for the children to play with. However, despite the perfect likeness to Hogwarts castle, the dancing suit of armour catches Padfoot completely by surprise. Before he knows it, his doggy reflexes have already activated and he is biting into the rubber armour with sharp teeth and flailing it around viciously. His man brain, called Sirius, tells him he has done something terribly bad. His dog brain tells him that this he must defend himself against this offensive dancing rubber-man before it startles him again.

A shrill whistling sound pierces the air and hurts his sensitive dog ears. Yet, it is only when Padfoot notices the ceiling collapsing on them and the children around him screaming in fright, that he realises that he has been a very, very bad dog.

* * *

A hand is caressing his forehead before moving down to gently tap his cheek. _'Enervate.' _A soft voice says and Sirius can feel the warm breath that comes with it. It smells like chocolate. Sirius blearily opens his eyes to find a pair of amber eyes peeking into his own grey ones with concern. They are the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen; startlingly clear and framed by curly brown eyelashes. Thick straight brows furrow in concern, causing little wrinkles to form on the very bridge of a slightly crooked and pale forehead. Upon his light brown curls rests a pristine halo of white light.

'Am I in heaven?' Sirius wonders aloud. What other reason can there be to have someone so beautiful in front of him? This man must be an angel. All those people who have told him again and again that he will go to hell are clearly wrong, because here he is: in the very gates of heaven. Even Satan's spawn (Professor McGonagall's words, not his) has a place in heaven.

'Oh dear,' small, pink lips worry and those lovely amber eyes lean even closer. 'He seems to have hit his head harder than expected.' Those wonderfully soft hands tap his cheek again. Sirius leans in to the touch with a content moan.

'Please, let me.'

Sirius is brought back into harsh reality by a tight slap across his right cheek. 'Wake up, you stupid mutt!' a shrill voice screams. Sirius immediately identifies it as Lily's and realises that he not in heaven after all. Only God could be so cruel as to tempt him with honey before dousing him in curdled milk. And Lily is milk so curdled that it simply looking at her can cause explosive diarrhoea.

'Mrs. Potter!' The Angel who had been lovingly caressing Sirius's cheek exclaims in a lilting Geordie accent. 'Mrs. Potter, I must protest-'

But Lily rarely, if ever, cares about anyone's protests. 'This was my son's _first_ birthday! His special day, which he would remember forever and ever as the best day of his life. Instead, he has pictures of a ruined backyard, crying children, and a smashed cake that got knocked over by terrified parents. Do you know why, Sirius? Do you?' It is a moot question. Sirius does not even get a word edgewise before she starts screaming again, finger jabbing far too close to his eyes to be comfortable. 'Because you've made Hogwarts collapse!'

Sirius is hit with a sense of déjà vu; this is definitely not the first time he has been accused of this.

'For once, Sirius, James and I wanted to make new friends. _Couple_ friends; people who are married and have children like us, so that we can arrange play dates and have family picnics.' Lily laments, throwing her hands up in the air. 'Responsible friends who work respectable jobs, and drink sensibly, and come home at decent hours of the night.' She rests her forehead against her hand, shaking her head in frustration. 'Instead, we are stuck with you! _You_, because of whom none of the other parents want to be friends with us anymore. Because all of them now think that we have traumatised their children so badly that they will never want to go to Hogwarts in the future! Some of them were scarred so badly that they kept muttering _Hogwarts falling castle_ even as they left!' She wails loudly. 'They didn't even take the gift bags!'

Sirius feels his stomach drop. Not from guilt but from dread of what is to come. He has heard all about the gift bags from James; how Lily has searched twenty four different party stores to find the perfect tiffany blue. How Lily has made James wrap bows on each bag multiple times until they were a perfect four-by-two inches in length and height. How Lily has made sure that every gift bag had the exact same number of the exact same colour of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans.

Fearing the oncoming rant, Sirius promptly take his emergency stance: turning into Padfoot, the black dog. Never one to miss an opportunity, he also decides to whimper and cower against Lily's wrath in The Angel's lap. The Angel exclaims in surprise and nearly falls off his chair, but Padfoot makes himself comfortable by pushing his snout into the other man's neck and fake crying in a way that would melt an axe murderer's heart. This lap, he muses, is much better than the cheap foldable bed that they had put him on. 'Mrs. Potter, is this really necessary?' The man asks and Padfoot makes sure to intensify the pathetic-ness of his whine. Angel's hand comes up to stroke his ruff soothingly and Padfoot graces him with a loving lick across his cheek. The Angel doesn't know it yet, Sirius grins in realisation, but this is their first kiss. Sirius has stolen it.

'Sirius Black, I know what you are doing!' Lily yells. Sirius is not at all surprised; Lily always did read his motives effectively. 'You know I can't punch an animal!' The Angel gasps and wraps his arms around Padfoot's form protectively (_their first hug)_. 'Oh, calm down, I'm not actually going to do it,' Lily scoffs. 'Sirius Black, I demand you transform back immediately! I cannot tell you off when you look like that! It's too cute, damn it! Sirius!' She stomps her foot childishly. 'You know I've been diagnosed with cute aggression,' she warns in a sing song-y voice. 'You wouldn't want me to pinch your cute little butt cheeks to death, would you?'

'Mrs. Potter!' The Angel cries out, shielding Padfoot with his body. 'I must ask you to leave immediately! And also seek medical attention if possible! Mr. Black has just suffered a shocking blow to the head; he needs rest and care. I cannot have you throwing abuse at him like this!'

'Fine!' Lily harrumphs, shooting Sirius one last glare before stomping out of the tent. 'This isn't over, Black!' Padfoot can hear her calling back.

'Mr. Black,' The Angel starts, gently picking up Padfoot and putting him down on the floor. Sirius is surprised at his strength; Padfoot is far from a small dog and The Angel is far from a large human. Logically such factors must have a negative correlation. 'You've had quite an incident, I must say. Your injuries aren't too serious and the children are safe, if you were wondering. The Hogwarts Bouncy Castle does have a lot of safety features in place, thankfully. You were misfortunate enough to suffer a direct blow from one of the swords that the suit of armour was carrying. It is made of a harder rubber than the rest of the castle, you see, to keep it erect.'

_That's what he said, _Sirius sniggers internally.

Angel moves to the little desk set up in the corner of the tent, close to the exit. Sunlight momentarily hits Angel's hair, causing it to burst into an aurora of golden, red, and brown. Both Sirius's doggy and human brain are enraptured by the shininess of it. _So shiny. _His tail starts to wag as he thinks of running his fingers through such lovely hair. He already knows his tongue is lolling about and dripping drool, but hopes Angel thinks it's just part of Sirius's doggy-ness, and not because Sirius is on the receiving end of a marvelous view of the man's backside. _Sniff_, Padfoot suggests. Wanting to be closer to this wonderful man, Padfoot follows him and brushes against his legs. _Lovely legs_, Sirius thinks; _lovely, lovely long legs_. _Hump them, _Padfoot says. The urge is strong, but Sirius resists. Sirius saves humping at least till the third date; he is very traditional that way.

'I've already made sure you don't have a bump. But I do advise sleeping it off and going to the hospital if you feel any headaches coming on afterwards.' Angel smiles kindly and then places a slip of light blue paper in front of Padfoot, on the floor.

Sirius squints.

It is a bad time to be colour blind.

'It's your bill,' Angel explains when he sees Padfoot cocking his head side to side in confusion. 'According to our binding contract, healing - my services - are only available in the case of mishap due to the fault of Merlin Entertainment. It is not covered under injuries due to natural calamity or in your case, extreme stupidity.' He pats Padfoot on the head gently, taking the bite out of his words. 'This bill is payable to me. That's my card: Remus Lupin.'

Remus Lupin, Sirius thinks in his head dreamily. It is a lovely name; feral, but romantic.

Sirius squints at his bill again, trying to make sense of the squiggles at the bottom. His doggy brain is keeping him from processing all the numbers and keeps telling him to eat the piece of paper in front of him instead. _Delicious, just like homework. _

'The second bill,' Remus continues, turning the paper, 'is from Gideon Prewett. Apparently, your friend James Potter has requested that all damage charges be passed on to you. Hogwarts will now need severe spell reconstruction after collapsing.' A surprised whimper passes Padfoot's lips. 'Gideon understands that you are not likely to have such a large amount on hand at the moment and conceded to hold the payment till next week. You can either have it transferred to our Gringotts account or pay it personally.' He points at the very bottom of the blue slip, where there are numeric squiggles that makes Sirius's throat dry up. There are a lot of zeroes. Many more zeroes that Sirius's little flat in London costs. Certainly more zeroes than Sirius has in his bank account.

In a moment of helplessness, Sirius goes into his emergency stance and gives in to his inner dog.

He eats the damn bill.

* * *

'So I was thinking…'

'Well, that's a change,' Lily mutters, viciously attacking her steak. It might be her lingering anger over the Hogwarts bouncy castle debacle fuelling such carnage. It might also be that Sirius has mistakenly (purposefully) cooked her steak a _little _over so that it is only a few chars away from being rubber. 'Though I doubt anything productive would come out of your thinking of anything.' Sirius does try to please her; he really does. Today is especially important since he is trying to win her and James's forgiveness with some fantastic home cooked dinner. Problem is, the little puppy in Sirius always wants to create mischief and Lily Evans is a gullible target. James, though now a respectable contributing member to society, is a former mischief maker and wise to everything Sirius tries on him.

'I was thinking,' Sirius continues, undeterred by Lily's sarcasm, 'that Harry and I do not spend enough time together.'

'Since when have you shown interest in spending time with Harry?' James asks, an eyebrow raised in suspicion.

'What are you talking about, Jamie-boy, I always want to spend time with Harry. I am his Godfather, after all,' Sirius rests a hand over his chest as a show of pride that comes from being chosen the honorary caretaker of a living being. Sirius has not had the best track record as a guardian. His last responsibility had been a little plant for Herbology class and Sirius had managed to turn the little medicinal herb into a feral, flesh eating monster. They had had to kill it to prevent it from swallowing any more children. Sirius had mourned and cried for two whole days.

'Sirius,' James waves his fork at Sirius rudely, 'so far, as Harry's Godfather, you have levitated him by the ankle and dropped him twice; snuck drops of liquor into his milk to put him to sleep when he was crying; stolen his toys so that Padfoot could chew on them; fed him booger flavour beans just to see if he would like it (which he did), and massacred his very first birthday party.'

'I was just playing with the little sprog,' Sirius reasons, swallowing heavily. Honestly, all those things hadn't seemed like a bad idea when he was doing them. 'And I got him a brilliant birthday present, didn't I?'

'You bought him a broom that he has managed to ride all the way up into a tree. There was a cat stuck up there with him and he had gotten so attached to it that we had to bring it home, or he wouldn't stop crying. I am allergic to cats, Sirius!' James cries out, flailing his hands dramatically. 'Allergic!'

'So am I,' A growl forces its way out of his throat just thinking of that tabby witch demon lurking in the Potter's home. Sirius is not fond of cats. 'Why do you think I am hosting this dinner in my house instead of yours?'

'You also asked us to find a babysitter for Harry because you did not want him ruining your bachelor pad.'

'He keeps trying to eat my telly!' Sirius defends.

'He's teething!' James defends back, as only a father of child trying to eat televisions would. 'Anyway, I think I have proved my point, which is that there is no way sudden God-fatherly feelings have crept up on you in such a short span of time. You clearly have ulterior motives and you need my son to be your ruse. I've already paid half of the bill for the damages you made to the bouncy castle. The only reasons I can think of is you want Harry to create a distraction for you while you do something illegal, or it's something pertaining to some sort of romantic interest.'

_Damn it, he's good. _'It's the healer,' Sirius concedes. He summons the card that had come with his ludicrous bills and places it in front of James and Lily, who peer curiously. 'Healer Remus J. Lupin. J is clearly short for _just ravishing_.'

'He's the one who stopped me from killing you,' Lily remembers, inspecting the card with a frown. 'I didn't think he would be your type, to be honest.'

James rolls his eyes. 'Lily, anything with a cock is Sirius's type.'

'I meant his…you know…' She waves her hand around, trying to find the right words. '…_feral _tendencies.'

Both of Sirius's eyebrows shoot up in piqued interest. 'Do continue.'

'Get your head out of the gutter.' Lily smacks Sirius across the forehead with the name card. 'I meant him being, well, a werewolf.'

'A werewolf?' Scratch '_Just Ravishing'. _Sirius decides that it needs to be: _Remus Just Fuck Me Already Lupin. Rawr, _Padfoot supplies in approval from deep, deep inside Sirius's psyche. James shoots him a knowing look, reading Sirius's lust driven mind perfectly. He knows perfectly well that Sirius is very adventurous in bed; something borne from his thrill seeking tendencies. If Sirius is to date Remus Lupin, he won't even need the cuffs or blindfolds to keep things exciting. Having a werewolf in his bed will be like having the body chocolate and eating it at the same time.

Lily, on the other hand, has not known Sirius long enough and continues on thoughtfully. 'I think one of the Prewett twins mentioned it while we were signing the contract. Fabian, I think.'

'Gideon,' James corrects through a mouthful of carrots.

Lily nods. 'He's a terrific healer apparently. Top scorer in the qualification examinations, but his illness tends to get in the way of him really achieving anything professionally.' She shakes her head in pity. 'The Prewetts are an open minded duo and Merlin Entertainments is really a glorified circus. Honestly, having a werewolf as a healer only adds to the novelty of their set ups. He brings in a good amount of profit, too. Apparently, folks injure themselves on purpose just to meet him.'

Well, there goes Sirius's brilliantly original plan.

Something in his face must have given it away because Lily looks at him with utter disbelief. 'Don't tell me you were going to fake an injury just to ask him out?'

'No, no, no,' Sirius shakes his head with a laugh. 'I was going to fake _Harry's_ injury to ask him out.'

'WHAT?' Both Lily and James drop their forks in shock.

Sirius thinks they are grossly over reacting. 'Calm down,' he says, putting both palms up in an attempt to placate them. 'The operative word is _fake. _Do you honestly think I would hurt my only Godson?' Sirius only plans to spook the boy enough to make him cry uncontrollably. 'Look, they're holding a summer fair in the park, and I'd look ridiculous going there without a date or a family. So I'll just pretend that I'm a caring Godfather who just came out to spend some quality time with his Godson in a summer fair, and something went wrong. It's a perfect ruse!' Sirius smiles winningly, hoping that the brilliance of his plan will shine through. 'Lupin will see how loving I am and try to calm me down from the panic attack I'll be having when Harry is hurt. Hook, line, and sinker!'

'You are _unbelievable!' _Lily cries out, banging her hand against the table.

'I know!' Sirius preens, running a hand through his hair. The plan _is _quite brilliant.

'I just-I can't-' Lily splutters, pinching the bridge of her nose. 'Words fail to express how I feel right now…'

James takes over to fill in the gap. As always, the two of them really are perfectly in sync. 'Sirius,' he sighs. 'Is this really necessary?'

Sirius wants what James has. He wants someone to be in sync with. Someone who he will be so in love with that people make fun of how smitten he is. He feels jealousy bubble inside him whenever he sees all his friends finding life partners. Sirius thinks he's a brilliant catch, but does not understand why men don't seem to fish him out. 'He needs to see I'm a family man, James,' Sirius tries to explain. 'He needs to know I'm serious. Children make you look like that.'

'Sirius…' James groans in exasperation. 'Don't.'

'No, no, James, look around you.' Sirius waves to the space around them. 'Over the past year, I've traded in my apartment for a cosy house. I've bought a king sized bed and dowdy wall art. I make an effort to clean the house every week and do my laundry once a month. I've even invested in matching China, for Merlin's sake!' He doesn't mention all the empty pictures frames he's bought or the two person duvet. He certainly doesn't mention the extra toothbrush he keeps in his cabinet or empty space in his cupboard, meant for another person. Sirius doesn't want them to think he is lonely.

He isn't.

That's what he tells himself every night.

'Sirius, raising a family does not mean getting matching mugs!' Lily scolds, holding out her mug and clinking it with Sirius's. Her mug reads, _'Looking for trouble' _and his reads, '_Trouble'. _Sirius thinks it's rather clever. 'It means being in a serious, committed relationship and creating a home _together!' _

'Well, I can't be in a serious, committed relationship without you lending me your son,' Sirius reasons. 'Come on, Lily. I'll be careful I promise. You know I love Harry and I'd die before anything happens to him.' This much is true. Sirius may not be the most competent Godfather and he does occasionally find Harry frustrating, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love the little snot. 'Please, Lily,' he begs again. 'Think of it this way: if I manage to score the lovely Healer Lupin, I'll be so caught up in love with him that I won't have the time (or energy) to come so frequently to your house.' He grins as he seals his proposal with an offer he knows Lily cannot deny him. She has been wanting this for three years now and Sirius knows that his antics have her at her wit's end. 'It's a win-win situation. You would be granted a lifetime's worth of peace. And all you need to do is sacrifice your child for a mere two hours.'

* * *

'Pa'foooooo!'

'Very good, Harry. That is my name,' Sirius says patiently. A group of girls giggle and eye him coquettishly as they pass by. This is not the first time this has happened and Sirius is honestly getting tired of all the heterosexual attention he is receiving. Where are all the baby loving homos, he asks. 'Now, Harry, Padfoot has bought you ice cream even though he's not supposed to, and let you go on those silly horsie-go-rounds five time. So it's time, you did Padfoot a favour.'

Harry tilts his head curiously.

'We're going to head to where the medical cabin is and you need to cry really, really loud. Even harder than when Padfoot got your stuck in the staircase or turned into a big dog and ate your cupcake.' In his defence, Sirius had later bought Harry a giant cupcake from the best patisserie in London. It was not his fault that Lily forbade Harry from eating it, in fear of the child becoming drunk. Apparently, there had been alcohol in the cake. Sirius did not think it an issue; after all, Mother had drunk plenty while pregnant and Sirius turned out just fine. 'Can you do that for me, little chap, can you cry?'

Harry gurgles happily, dripping drool down the sleeve of Sirius's shirt. Sirius does not understand why the boy can never cry when he actually needs to. Harry has no problems whatsoever in crying during movies, or when Sirius and James are trying to listen to the Quidditch finals. He sighs heavily, realising he might have to resort to drastic measures if Harry doesn't shape up. He really is not looking forward to frightening the boy, or taking away the toy Sirius has just won him.

Sirius looks at the map he picked up from the ticketing office again. According to the directions, the primary medical cabin is just left of the kissing booth and behind the divination tent. Sirius turns right, still mulling over his brilliant plan to woo Remus Lupin. He is so engrossed in his thoughts that at first, he doesn't quite notice Lupin standing to his right having a heated argument with one of the Prewett twins.

In fact, he would have surpassed the scene entirely if not for Lupin bellowing: 'I AM A CERTIFIED HEALER!'

Harry starts crying.

Which is a relief.

Now Sirius doesn't have to make him cry in order to woo the man of his dreams. Instead, Sirius casts a muffling charm on Harry and hides behind the divination tent, so that he can spy on the two men. Remus Lupin has his back to Sirius, but one can tell from his tense shoulders and clenched fists that he is not pleased. His hair is standing up at the back; a product of repeatedly running his hand through it in agitation. Prewett, too, looks troubled. It is clear from his pleading face that he is in a situation he would rather not be in.

'Remus, _please_, you know I wouldn't ask this of you if I wasn't desperate! It's just for this week and I will never mention it again, I promise!'

'Fay,' Lupin starts patiently, his voice forcefully calm. 'You promised me. You promised me when you hired me here that you would treat me like everybody else. You promised that you would not humiliate or degrade me because of who I am.'

'And I am keeping that promise!' Fabian Prewett insists.

'No, you are not!' Lupin replies heatedly, stomping his feet like a child. 'I am a professional healer, Fay! I am here to take care of your visitors, not snog them for a galleon each!'

_Snog?_ Sirius's interest is definitely piqued. He looks at Harry who is still silently crying and then directs Harry's thumb helpfully into the toddler's mouth. If Harry's mouth is busy sucking fingers, he will not be wailing. Satisfied, he leans in even closer. This argument has suddenly become extremely intriguing.

'Remus, you are just substituting for a week because Dylan is ill. You know the kissing booth reaps an enormous profit for us. I can't just shut it down!' He places both hands on Remus's shoulders as he begs for reason. 'Listen, you know I wouldn't ask this of you if I had another choice. But Dylan is part Veela and you are literally the only one in this entire troupe who has enough exotic mystery, danger, and looks to pull this off.'

'Why can't you ask the bearded lady?' Remus grouches. 'It's sufficiently dangerous to kiss a woman with facial hair, I would imagine.'

'Remus. If you do this for me, I will buy you a pound of chocolate.' Remus must have shot Fabian a dirty look, because he adds in a nervous stammer, 'a-and twenty…' Fabian falters. '…no…thirty percent of the profits that we make out of the kissing booth.' He smiles weakly. 'Pucker up, eh?' Sirius never hears if Remus agrees or not, because the man storms off towards the medical cabin with Fabian still pleading after him.

'What now, Harry?' Sirius turns to ask Harry in Godson. 'Do I follow? Or should I wait till Fabian leaves? I do my best wooing when alone, I have to admit.' Harry sucks on his thumb in reply, which is largely unhelpful. Sirius wonders when Harry's speech capabilities will be mature enough to give relevant dating advice. Perhaps another two years? Sirius cannot wait that long.

He doesn't have to, because five minutes later, he gets his answer. And his answer is so fabulous that Sirius is caught between bursting out in laughter and thanking Merlin for presenting him with such a pristine opportunity. Remus has come out of the tent, looking very disgruntled, possibly about the change in his appearance. He has discarded is white apron and his shirt in favour of skin; and what lovely skin it is. Sirius has to admit that in term of muscle, Remus is lacking painfully. The man is pale, thin, and wiry; but the scars crisscrossing across his body gives him a roguish appearance that makes Sirius's mouth water. He is wearing ripped jeans, cut off just below the knees to reveal long, slender legs that seem to go on and on and on, before finishing in a pair of tan flip flops. His ashy brown hair, and Sirius has no doubt that this is a comical product of Fabian's imagination, has been styled to stick up on either side of his head like wolf ears. Sirius notices that Fabian has also cast some kind of hair growth spell to make Remus's smooth chin look rough and unshaven. But what truly has Sirius (and Padfoot) going _rawr _is the spelled fangs that bare viciously when Remus snarls at Fabian to '_fuck off, you bloody bastard!' _

Sirius's cock is in love.

Head over heels; balls over dick; in absolute fucking love.

'Harry, this man is your future uncle,' Sirius informs his Godson who shoots him a supportive toothy grin in reply. 'I am glad you approve. You really are my favourite Potter.' He kisses Harry on each of his chubby cheeks, before going back to his werewolf spying.

Fabian now looks near tears, whether from relief over Sirius agreeing or Remus's constant whiplash of malicious comments, Sirius cannot tell. But the man hurries to set the kissing booth up, using his wand to customise all the signboards. Sirius nearly falls over laughing again when he reads the new booth signs. '_Lay your life on line and dare to kiss Moony, the werewolf for a Galleon!' _one of them reads. _'He doesn't bite. MUCH!' _another reads. '_Do you have the lips it takes?' _and Sirius's personal favourite: '_Awooooo – pucker up!' _It is no wonder Remus is in such a strop, as he practically has Fabian running for his life once the boards are up. Yet, true to his word, Remus sits at the booth with a pout so adorable, it is a wonder that there isn't already a steady line of customers waiting for a kiss.

Sirius makes a move before anyone else can come in on his turf. He swaggers right up to the booth, rests his elbow against the table and leans in with his lips puckered. Sirius expects a lot of things from his first human kiss with Remus. He expects bells and fireworks. He expects Cornish pixies to break into song about how Sirius has found his destiny. He expects Remus to jump into his arms and for them to twirl round and round, as they kissed. He does not, however, expect a slap to land across his face.

Sirius reels back in surprise.

Harry bursts into giggles. (_Traitor!) _Just for that, Sirius puts him down to stand on his own two feet. He has ridden on Sirius's express travel service (arms) for long enough.

'Read the sign, mate,' Remus growls. 'You pay a galleon for a kiss; not the other way round.'

Sirius rubs his smarting cheek in dismay. Not to be undeterred, he pursues. 'How about I pay you a hundred galleons and you spend the rest of the day kissing me. I'll buy you lunch, of course. I am nothing if not courteous.' He grins his most charming grin; the kind of grin that had women throwing their panties at him in school (not that he had wanted any of them. Except for the silk ones; those were very comfortable).

Sirius's attempts are yet again crushed when Remus groans, not in mad lust but in disappointment. 'I should have known I'd get one of you today. Bloody Fabian. Listen,' he leaned across the table so that they were face to face, their noses only inches apart. 'Every week, I meet at least two people like you.'

'Devilishly handsome?' Sirius asks hopefully.

'Infuriatingly stupid,' Remus clarifies. 'I'm flattered by your attention, I really am; so I'm going to save you the trouble of trying to flirt your way into my pants with some honest advice. If you're looking for the thrill of having a werewolf in your bed, you're going to be sorely disappointed with me.'

'Why?' Sirius asks, confused. 'Doesn't it work?' He looks pointedly over the table at Remus's crotch.

Remus splutters. 'It works just fine, thank you!' he defends vehemently.

Sirius scratches his head. 'Is it small?'

'NO!' Remus cries out, positioning both hands to the front of his trousers. 'Stop looking at my crotch! My eyes are up here!' He flicks Sirius on the forehead, his cheeks burning red. 'I meant to say that if you're here for the novelty of fucking a werewolf, you can leave right now.'

'Ooh,' Sirius nods his head in understanding and hastens to clarify. 'No, you've misunderstood me. I'm here for the novelty of fucking _you_. You being a werewolf is really just an added bonus.'

Remus looks at him incredulously. 'Is that supposed to be a compliment? Wait-' he frowns, looking around. 'Didn't you have a baby with you?'

Sirius's eyes widen. In a moment of panic, Sirius realises that Harry is no longer holding his hand or circling around his legs in play. 'Harry?' he calls, hoping that Harry is close enough to answer despite his limited linguistic skills. 'Harry?' he calls again, his eyes darting left to right as he looks for his missing Godson. He sees nothing even remotely human and a foot tall. Sirius has lost the only little person he has ever had to care for and genuinely loves. He has lost his only Godson in a fair, full of strangers, kidnappers, and murderers. This is his worst nightmare. Within a matter of seconds, he finds himself tearing up. 'HARRY!'

'Wait a minute! Harry?' Remus asks, a hand on Sirius's shoulder. 'I recognise you now! You're the bloke that made Hogwarts Bouncy Castle collapse!'

'I'm glad you remember me; I really am, especially since I've been in love with you since the day I met you,' Sirius answers with a shaky voice. 'But I'm having a hard time rejoicing right now because I've just lost my Godson. Oh Merlin,' he put both hands to his head, trying to think. 'I've lost Harry. What do I do?' _Sniff. _'Of course! I can change into Padfoot and sniff him out. Harry's scent should be on my clothes.' Sirius hurries to take his shirt off and he has it nearly off his head, when he hears a familiar cry.

'He's behind the sweet shop!' Remus points out quickly, his ears picking up almost canine like. 'He must have wandered off there to look at the sweeties. Come on!' He grabs Sirius by the hand and sets off to a run. Sirius struggles to follow; while Sirius is far from unfit, he isn't as tall as Remus and the shock of having lost Harry is still marring his movements.

As Remus predicted, Harry is behind the sweet shop, crying fat tears of despair. He is sat on his cushioned bottom, holding a skinned elbow to his chest. It is not unusual for Harry to fall over; he is still unsteady on his feet and often walks like a pregnant duck. It seems in his pursuit of mischief and sweeties, Harry has lost balance and hurt himself. Sirius rushes over to him and picks him up, patting the child's back and bopping him up and down to calm him. It only makes Harry cry harder, which is terrible because Sirius really cannot stand to see his Godson cry. He hushes and tells Harry that it is nothing but a scrape, but Harry has no plans of listening to reason.

'Here, give him to me,' Remus advises, holding out his hands in anticipation. Sirius trusts him implicitly. After all, if not for Remus, Sirius would still be hunting for his Godson with his own shirt up his nose. He transfers Harry into Remus's arms. 'There we are,' Remus coos in a sweet voice, which looks quite off with the prosthetic fangs still attached to his teeth. 'What's the matter, love? Are you hurt?' Harry cries harder and displays his battle wound to Remus: a scraped elbow. 'Well, look at that,' Remus makes a show of surveying the wound with great thought, before leaning down to kiss it gently. To Sirius's surprise, the wound closes instantly and the skin heals itself. 'See? All better!' He hands Harry back to Sirius.

'How did you do that?' Sirius asks, inspecting Harry's elbow. Thankfully, Harry has also stopped crying and the shock of being hurt has made him much more demure. He lays his head on Sirius's shoulder and quietly sucks on his thumb, no longer wanting to be let down.

'I can concentrate minor healing spells to any part of my body,' Remus replies, shrugging.

Sirius cannot help it. His eyes automatically gaze towards Remus's crotch. There are a million things he can say at this point, but even Sirius, as daft as he is, knows that he cannot escape saying them without another slap to the face. The first one is still smarting. So, instead, he tries to look grateful. 'Thank you. I was really scared back there.'

Remus smiles. 'It's not a problem. You owe me two galleons for two kisses by the way. One for you and one for your godson.'

'I'll give you a hundred if you agree to go on a date with me,' Sirius tries to negotiate, jogging to catch up with Remus as they walked back towards the kissing booth. 'If you're not comfortable with strangers, I could ask you to accompany me to the Potter's barbeque on Sunday as my date. You already know James and Lily, so there's no fear that I may turn out to be a mad man.' When Remus turns to look at him sceptically, Sirius tries his winning smile yet again. 'Come on, say yes! I promise you won't be disappointed and I'm really not just trying to get into your pants. In fact, I have a policy to not sleep with my dates until the third date. I'm very traditional, you see.'

Remus chuckles. 'You really are quite the character, Black.'

'Sirius,' Sirius corrects. 'My name is Sirius. Black is a colour; the colour my heart will be if you reject me now.'

This time, Remus bursts out laughing. 'All right then. I'll go with you,' he agrees once he's caught his breath.

Sirius cannot believe his ears. 'Really?' When Remus nods, Sirius whoops loudly. Harry copies him for fun, making Remus burst into another bout of laughter. 'You are going to fall in love with me,' Sirius states confidently. 'You just watch, Remus _Just Ravishing _Lupin, you are going to be head over heels in love with me!' He pulls a galleon out of his pocket, slams it on to the booth table, and pulls Remus into a rough kiss. He pulls away quickly just in case Remus decides to slap him again.

'If you make anything else collapse, you know where to find me!' Remus calls out as Sirius skips away, his bounce getting higher and higher at every step.

* * *

Lily groans as she spots him and Sirius waves even harder, a wide grin splitting his face. 'Hello, Lily flower!' he calls out cheerfully. 'Can I just say, these hors d'oeuvres are lovely, especially that nice cheesy one! Sirius pops a second one into his mouth, just to show her how lovely he thought they were. Remus laughs quietly at his antics and that only fuels Sirius's need to act like a pompous idiot.

''Hello, Sirius,' Lily greets with a strained smile. She notices Sirius and Remus's clasped hands, and sighs, 'Remus, I see this moron has convinced you to go on a date with him.'

'He paid me a galleon for it,' Remus says, his face set in mock seriousness. There is silence for a while as Lily blinks in confusion, and then both Sirius and Remus burst out laughing at the same time. Remus leans against him as he laughs, forehead resting on Sirius's shoulder and shoulders shaking against Sirius's chest. Sirius thinks they fit so perfectly that it would be a crime if Remus does not say yes for a second date.

'Sirius, can I talk to you in private, please?' Lily does not wait for Sirius to answer and drags him away from Remus and the snacks table to a secluded corner. She rounds on him even before Sirius can dish out the dirty jokes about her fantasies about snogging handsome gay men. 'Sirius Black, I cannot believe you!' She scolds. 'You are an absolutely infuriating, shameless, bastard of a man! Why must you ruin everything?'

'I haven't even done anything yet!' Sirius protests, wondering if she knows about the fireworks in his jacket pocket. He hopes not; he's saving that for the perfect romantic finale. Something for Remus and him to watch as they speed off on his motorbike.

'You haven't been invited to this party!' Lily shrieks while trying to keep her voice quiet at the same time. 'Sirius, just this once, we want a nice, quiet party. No explosions, no odd smells, or collapsing structures. We want a respectable, _adult_ party, where we can meet new people, just like us, and discuss politics, and policies, and tea, and babies. I want James to venture out more; make new friends who actually get him home at a respectable time, preferably sober.'

'What's wrong with having a little bit of fun in life; James never seems to complain about having me as a mate. Besides, James said I wasn't allowed because this party was for couples only,' Sirius argues huffily. 'Today, I am a couple, so by James's reasoning, I am invited.'

Lily groans.

'I'm hardly going to do anything, am I? I'm here on a date, which means I'm going to make every effort to appear sane and respectable.' Sirius is reasoning with lies; but Lily doesn't have to know this. In reality, Sirius plans to woo Remus with his fun spirit, his hilarious pranks, and his charming personality. James always tells him to find someone who will love Sirius for Sirius, and not his money or looks. So Sirius is going to be Sirius, Remus or otherwise. 'Come on, Lily,' Sirius whines. 'If he sees how stuffy and boring your barbeque is, he'll realise that I have friends who have families. Which will show him that I take relationships very seriously and might consider having a family of my own. It's a perfect set up.' _Beg. _He widens his eyes and nearly whines, not unlike his doggy counterpart. He can see her caving and tries not to wag his tail, before realising he had no tail in this form. Sometimes Sirius tends to forget whether he is human or dog.

'Don't bother,' Lily says with a smirk, suddenly looking past Sirius. 'Looks like your date has figured out what a huge mistake he's made in agreeing to go out with you.' She points past Sirius's shoulder. 'He's leaving.'

'WHAT?' Sirius whirls around and sure enough, Remus seems to be leaving the party. The werewolf doesn't even glance back, as he walks away. Sirius is baffled by Remus's actions; the other man did not seem like someone who would just up and leave. In fact, he pictures Remus as someone who is infinitely polite and kind. After all, he only slapped Sirius once where many others would have (already have) done much worse. So he runs after his date hurriedly, calling out Remus's name to make him stop. Luckily, Remus does. Sirius really isn't as fit as he looks and is panting a bit by the time he has crossed the entirety of the Potter's ridiculously enormous back garden to reach Remus. 'Hey, where are you going? We just got here!'

'I-' Remus starts hesitantly. He doesn't turn to face Sirius and talks to his shoes instead. 'I really should be going, Sirius. This party isn't really for me.' He scuffs his foot against the ground. 'I mean, I don't really fit in here with all these wizarding families.'

Sirius frowns. 'That's bollocks. Why would you think that?'

Remus shrugs but his shoulders are tense.

'Remus,' Sirius tries again, pulling Remus by the shoulders and forcing the werewolf to face him. 'Why would you say something like that? Did someone say something to you?' Just by the tightening of Remus's jaw, Sirius can tell that he has struck a nerve. Sirius feels anger boil inside him and his hands tighten on Remus's shoulders. 'Who was it?' When Remus averts his eyes, Sirius presses even harder. 'Remus, tell me who it was.' Remus doesn't really have to tell Sirius anything. All Sirius has to do is to follow the movement of his amber eyes, across the grass, past a clique of people, and directly on to a gaunt looking man Sirius knew as Herbert Mockridge, Director of Creature Control at the Ministry. Sirius doesn't have to guess what kind of hateful comments the man may have passed to Remus. _You're dead, _Padfoot growled internally and Sirius completely agrees, letting himself loose and practically running towards the man. He doesn't even realise he has voiced his thoughts aloud until he hears Remus gasp in alarm and call for him to _forget it. _Of course, Sirius doesn't listen; he has always been known to be stubborn and hot headed.

And it is this hot headedness that has Sirius throwing a punch right into Mockridge's face. He doesn't really think about propriety or that his right hook often does very painful damage to the receiver's face. He is also not at all concerned that Mockridge is the Director of Creature Control in the Ministry and can influence Sirius's future career as an Auror. His rage, as always, is only tempered by James hooking his arms under his armpits in restraint and pulling him aside forcefully. Even then, Sirius thrashes wildly and screams expletives at the other man, creating a huge scene so that people start to gather around him and mutter things that are clearly unsavoury.

'Sirius, what the hell do you think you're doing?' James growls, coming in between Sirius and Mockridge.

'I am _leaving,' _Sirius replied gruffly, pulling his arms out of James's grasp and grabbing hold of Remus's hand instead. 'You can tell your wife that if these are the type of bigoted, racist wankers she wants to befriend in my stead, then she is welcome to them! In fact, _I _break up with _her _as a friend!' James's eyes widen in surprise and he open his mouth to say something, but Sirius doesn't give him the chance. He simply states, 'Also tell her that her party sucks and her cooking was so terrible that I had to pour extra hot-hot sauce on all her hors d'oeuvres, even the ones I didn't eat!' He huffs, spins on the balls of his feet, and drags Remus across the garden back to his parked motorbike. He vaguely hears Lily's threats of murder and how much of a nuisance he is, but he ignores it. This isn't the first time she has threatened to hang him by his balls.

'Sirius, I really think you over reacted a little out there,' Remus interjects when Sirius motions for him to sit on the bike. 'Maybe you should go and apologise.'

'Remus,' Sirius grits out impatiently when Remus refuses to sit, 'It doesn't matter who or what you are.' He picks the werewolf up by the waist easily and deposits him on the bike seat. 'Being a werewolf isn't a crime and you are allowed the same privileges as any wizard. That bastard Mockridge is certainly not allowed to belittle you, especially being in his position. It's unprofessional and unsavoury!'

'Sirius, I think there has been a misunderstanding-'

'Remus, you need to learn to stand up for yourself!' Sirius interrupts, pushing the spare chocolate brown helmet (bought specially for Remus) on the man's head and buckling it under his chin.

Remus lifts his visor. 'But Mockridge hasn't said anything to me about being a werewolf!' He protests. 'In fact, he is always very respectful at the registry and has never once mistreated a fellow half breed!' Sirius shoots him a disbelieving look. 'He recognised me from last week's kissing booth,' Remus explains, his eyes shifting away bashfully. 'And he propositioned me to join him and his wife in bed tonight.'

'He what?' Sirius cries, his eyebrows reaching to his hairline.

Remus scratches the back of his neck and mutters, 'Apparently they are looking to spice up their love life and felt a werewolf would be a good way of going about it. I tried rejecting him, but he kept trying to convince me with all these awful details about what they could do. He and his wife were relentless. It made me really uncomfortable, so I was just trying to leave before they caught up to me and tried again.' He blushed under Sirius's incredulous stare. 'I told you, I get a lot of offers from people like Mockridge looking for some kind of thrill. I find it quite humiliating, but Fabian says I have far too much pride.' Remus pushes his visor down when an embarrassed blush starts to creep up his face.

Sirius still hasn't managed to gain back his articulation. There are many thoughts and emotions running through him. He is firstly disgusted by Mockridge for even considering a threesome at his age. He is also very much jealous and protective about Remus, because Remus is _Sirius's date_ and Sirius can be very territorial about things that are considered his. Sirius is also a little mortified about the scene he has caused and is wondering how he will explain this to Alastor Moody, his supervisor at work. He wonders if he can pull the _'bloke hit on my boyfriend so I got cross'_ card, even though Remus isn't really Sirius's boyfriend yet. Though Sirius is fairly confident that Remus _will _be his boyfriend very, very soon because Sirius believes that his charms are very difficult to resist. Internally, Padfoot proudly displays his balls for Remus to see exactly how attractive he is as a partner and mate.

'Sirius?'

Sirius breaks out of his reverie to see Remus looking at him with concern. It is then that he realises that they are still in the Potter's parking lot and either Mockridge or Lily can come charging after him any second for revenge. So he quickly, climbs on to his bike, starts his engine, and takes off in full speed. He waits until Remus's arms wrap tightly around his waist, before tilting his bike on its back wheel and taking flight. He hears Remus gasp in surprise and realises that he had forgotten to mention to Remus that he had charmed his darling black motorbike to fly. Sirius remembers it is because he hadn't wanted to scare Remus off on their very first date and had instead decided to drive him here in a traditional fashion. Well, Remus has already seen quite a lot of Sirius's insanity and he hasn't run away yet. _Carpe Diem, _Sirius thinks before going all out and lifting the bike higher, just as he turns on the invisibility shield. He grins when he hears Remus scream and then break out in surprised laughter.

'You are mad, Sirius Black!' Remus yells over the wind whipping against them. 'Absolutely insane!' Yet, it is Remus who cheers and whoops like a mad man when Sirius flips and does little tricks (_good boy_, Padfoot says) with his bike mid-air. 'Sirius,' Remus pants after a while, resting his chin on Sirius's shoulder and pushing even closer. His right hand reaches for Sirius's and his lips briefly touch Sirius's knuckles, where the skin had split from the when Sirius had punched Mockridge. Sirius feels a slight tingling sensation before the skin knits itself together and clears. 'Hey, didn't you have a bag full of Fillibuster fireworks when we came in?'

'Ah yes,' Sirius remembers still looking at his newly healed knuckles dazedly, 'I stuffed it under the table when Lily forcibly dragged me to have that pointless talk. I completely forgot about it.'

'But doesn't it have a timer on it? You told me it's supposed to go off in an hour, isn't it?'

'Oh, yes, of course.' Sirius wonders how he can forget such an important detail. Oh well, he thinks with a shrug, Lily's hors d'oeuvres were really not very good so there isn't much harm done. He does feel sorry about the cake though. 'If you want, we can go back later and watch the fireworks?' Sirius suggests politely. 'But we will have to keep the invisibility on; otherwise we might not escape Lily's wrath alive.'

This time Remus laughs so hard that he snorts and it is the most endearing thing Sirius has ever heard. 'Sirius Black, you are _barking mad!' _

'Is that a bad thing?' Sirius asks worriedly. It isn't that Sirius hasn't tried to tone down his rather destructive ways, but somehow trouble seems to follow him around wherever he goes. He isn't always looking to cause mischief; it just _happens. _It has put off a lot of his dates, who thought of him as immature and attention seeking. Sirius's face falls at the thought of Remus also rejecting him, and he is glad that the helmet hides how upset he really is just thinking of it.

Remus bumps their helmet together gently in a show of affection, effectively dispelling Sirius's reservations. 'I don't think I've ever had so much fun on a date,' he says with a soft chuckle.

Padfoot's tail wags out of control.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: ****Hogwarts Bouncy Castle of Love**

**Artwork Disclaimer:** "Hogwarts Castle" by Luntary ( luntary. deviantart )

**Warnings:** Magical AU and extreme silliness that might cause cringing.

**Rating:**M

**A/N: So for those of you who have already read this story, I've just decided to split it into two chapters because the original was too long. It's still the same story and hasn't really changed!**

* * *

Part 2

'Is everything to your liking, Sir?'

'Yes, yes, it's all good,' Sirius waves the waiter away without as much as a glance at the man. In fact, Sirius has not once shifted his eyes from his date - the stunning Remus Lupin - all night. Not that the werewolf did not look ravishing all the time, but tonight Remus has made an extra effort to look good since Sirius had mentioned they were going to a very fancy restaurant. He is wearing a cream shirt, unbuttoned at the collar and folded to the elbows; and dark brown slacks that fit his bum so very nicely that Sirius has had to walk a few steps behind the man in order to exercise his God given right to stare at the man's firm buttocks. (_Awwooooo, _Padfoot had howled the entire way). Remus has also tied his slightly long, wavy hair into a sleek ponytail, calling attention to his bright amber eyes and curly lashes.

'Sirius, is it just me or has that waiter been staring at us the entire time?' Remus asks, dipping his pita bread into the hummus.

They are in a Middle Eastern outdoor restaurant called, The Magic Carpet. It is known mainly for its ambience, where each seating is in fact, a floating hand woven carpet with a perfect view of the night sky. There are a few coloured glass lanterns that surround them and food is served in shared platters to amplify the romantic atmosphere. It gives Sirius an opportunity to sit beside Remus, rather than opposite, and also brush shoulders and thighs as they eat. To be honest, Sirius has brought Remus here with the full intention of laying back on the carpet after dinner, holding hands, and watching the stars.

'Don't mind him,' Sirius assures with a smile. 'He's just a little paranoid because of the thing that happened last time I was here.'

Remus raises an eyebrow. 'There was a _thing _that happened the last time you were here?'

Sirius avoids looking directly at Remus's eyes as he explains, 'I may or may not have burned one of their levitating carpets. It wasn't entirely my fault!' he defends when he feels misjudged. 'There was this flambeau and it looked so sparkly; and Padfoot, who is my inner Animagus, kept egging me! Of course, I paid for the damages, but I still had to drop the Black name to get a reservation here.' Sirius clamps his lips tightly when he realises he is rambling and Remus is sniggering behind his hand. He doesn't mind being laughed at if it means he gets to see that adorable dimple form in Remus's left cheek.

'Well, that explains the madness,' Remus says, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes. 'I thought your last name was familiar. You are of the Noble and Ancient House of Black.' At this point of realisation, Sirius's dates usually do one of two things: they fall all over him because the Black name (riches) has suddenly made his more attractive, or they run the opposite direction because the Black name inspires more fear than necessary. Remus does neither. He sits there, calmly helping himself to some more lamb. 'I'm supposing you're a runaway or estranged in some way,' he says between swallows. 'Given that you aren't wearing your family ring and that you're dating me. Oh, don't look so surprised. I work for the Prewetts and they've educated me enough on which Purebloods to watch out for.'

'Am I someone to watch out for?' Sirius asks unsurely, still not believing that Remus is taking the reveal of his last name so casually.

'With the amount of trouble you cause, I would certainly say so,' Remus replies humorously. He leans in to quickly peck at the tip of Sirius's nose, causing said nose to turn bright red. 'Lucky for you, I find your propensity for mayhem quite endearing.'

Sirius grins, scooting closer to Remus so that their sides are nearly overlapping with each other. Remus's skin is warm where it touches Sirius's, providing Sirius the perfect excuse to lean in closer and rest his head upon the werewolf's shoulder. He practically keens when Remus reciprocates by carding nimble fingers through his hair. 'I discourage mayhem for a living, you know,' Sirius states as a matter-of-fact-ly. 'I'm training to become an Auror, though right now, Moody isn't too happy with me and is threatening to put me under suspension after I jinxed his face to sprout tentacles. It was an honest mistake; what is a bloke to do when caught by surprise.' Sirius looks at Remus beseechingly, hoping the werewolf will be sympathetic to his plight. 'Everyone in the unit thinks I'm a criminal mastermind in the making and should be sent to Azkaban. Even James.' He pouts.

Remus scratches the back of his ear consolingly and Sirius's inner Padfoot goes so wild that he suggests Sirius hump the other man right here, right now. 'I'm sure you're simply misunderstood.'

Sirius looks up at Remus suspiciously. 'You're being sarcastic, aren't you?'

Remus pats Sirius's cheek and replies sombrely, 'Yes, love, I am.'

Sirius would have been offended, but he is too busy feeling elated over Remus calling him _love. _The reasonable part of his mind (which sounds a bit like James) tells him that Remus is northern and it is fairly common for him to use endearments like love and sweetheart and pudding, but Sirius has never really listened to James and is certainly not about to start now. Also, he very much wants to be called pudding. 'What about you, Remus? How did you decide on your profession and working in a carnival?'

'I didn't,' Remus replies, chewing on his food thoughtfully. 'I didn't have much of a choice, being what I am. I was home schooled all my life and taught healing by our family doctor, who had cared for me since I was very young and taken a shine to me. He's the one who pushed for me to take the certification examination and become a proper healer.' He smiles in remembrance. 'He was the Prewett's grandfather; a good man. I grew up with Gideon and Fabian, so it was only natural for me to work with them in the carnival. Though if Fabian asks me to do the kissing booth one more time, I will have to look for a new job.'

'I would buy all your kisses,' Sirius says, fluttering his eyelashes at Remus and eliciting a laugh from the man. Sirius is nothing if not a man of moment and he finds that this is the perfect moment to cup the back of Remus's head and pull him down for a gentle kiss. Their lips slide slowly and tentatively against each other, Sirius discovering the fullness of Remus's lips and how it fit perfectly within his. He hears the hitch in Remus's breath when he pushes his tongue past the man's open lips, and another low moan when their rough tongues brush against each other. Sirius can feel pleasant tingles all over his body and they intensify when Remus wraps both arms around Sirius's shoulders and pulls him closer. When they finally part, both of them are out of breath and looking into each other's eyes with silly grins on their faces.

Remus licks his already wet lips, reddened from their kissing. 'Hey,' he says huskily, his lips lightly touching Sirius's with ever word. 'When we're done, would you like to come to my place for some tea?' His hand is playing with the collar of Sirius's shirt, fingers dipping lightly to trace Sirius's Adam's apple and collarbone seductively.

Sirius swallows and feels his hammering heart threaten to beat right out of his chest. 'Is this real tea or symbolic tea?' he asks stupidly.

Remus smiles lasciviously.

_Hump, hump, hump, _Padfoot screams and Sirius has to threaten him with no walkies to shut him up. 'I'm going to regret saying this,' Sirius starts, his hands rubbing up and down Remus's sides. 'But…'

'You want to wait till the third date?' Remus asks, reading his mind. Sirius expect derision in the werewolf's voice, even laughter, but hears none even when he nods in affirmation. Remus does stop the soft butterfly kisses he had been bestowing Sirius's neck but does not move away, keeping their bodies close.

'I'm traditional that way,' Sirius smiles, feeling relieved. It isn't that he isn't sure, but he wants to wait so that Remus is sure. Sirius has discovered mathematically, that his dates often find him unbearable by the second date and give up on him. He doesn't want to invest in something that will not lead anywhere, especially when he is serious about committing to Remus.

Remus laughs, kissing Sirius's cheek before turning to the front. One of his arms remain securely around Sirius's shoulders, as they sit in silence for a while and watch the stars.

It is only when the waiter brings their hookah pipe and they are sharing their fourth puff of apple mint together that Sirius has the courage to confess. 'Remus,' he starts, waiting for the other man to hum in acknowledgement before continuing, 'I think I'm falling in love with you.'

Remus blows out three perfect rings of smoke. 'You don't even know me yet.'

Sirius shrugs, mustering his most charming smile. 'And I'm already beginning to fall in love with you. Imagine what will happen when I get to know you further.'

* * *

Remus hasn't replied to any of is owls.

Sirius has sent four owls over the course of five days and Remus hasn't gotten back to a single one of them or even acknowledged them.

On the first day, Sirius reasons with himself that only a few hours have passed and it is plausible that Remus is too caught up with work to reply. He goes to work as he does every day and anxiously checks the windows for any returning owls that might happen by.

On the second day, Sirius is angry. He is angry with Remus for not even gracing him with a reply after promising him a third date. Sirius is also angry with himself for sending another owl, explaining exactly why he is angry.

On the third day, Sirius begins to question himself. He wonders if he has done anything wrong and consequently finds that he has done very little _right._ He has mostly been himself in all their dates; obnoxious, loud, and mischievous – all qualities that he has often tried to hide on dates. But he had felt comfortable and accepted around Remus, so he had dropped any false pretences. He then starts to wonder what he could have done differently. Could he have made his breath mintier? Could he have worn a tighter shirt? Could he have not talked at all for the entire span of the date? He sends Remus a letter asking his opinion.

On the fourth day, Sirius does not go to work. He stays at home and eats copious amounts of ice cream while watching terrible muggle serials on the telly. He does not take a shower, change his underwear, or for the matter, bother wearing any underwear. When James comes to check up on him, he receives quite a shock. After he had coerces Sirius into wearing _something, for Merlin's sake, _they open a large bottle of Firewhisky because James claims that he cannot not take any more of Sirius's whining about Remus without alcohol dulling his brain. In his drunken state of despair, Sirius cries big fat tears of misery, blows his nose into an empty parchment, and sends it to Remus by owl.

'You know, on the fifth day, normal human beings usually go through a stage of acceptance.'

'Acceptance of what?' Sirius asks distractedly, wondering how he is going to escape the notice of the guard seemingly following his every move. This is the fourth guard Sirius has encountered and he is at his wit's end about what to do. James isn't helping with his whining and complaining.

'That maybe this bloke, Remus, isn't that into you?' James states with a sigh. 'Sirius, is it really necessary to go to such lengths for someone you've only known for two weeks, half of which he has spent ignoring you?'

Sirius looks back at James with incredulous eyes. All his life, he has always relied on his best friend to understand him and tag along with his schemes, however ludicrous. He cannot believe that James is questioning him now after nearly twenty years of friendship. 'You don't get it, James. He is the _one!_ When we're together, I feel like I've known him for a lifetime.' He waves his hands around wildly to make a point. 'As if I was incomplete this whole time and suddenly he comes along, and I'm whole again.' He presses his fist to his chest, feeling his heart beat wildly just at the thought of Remus. 'He's the only person in the world who doesn't think I'm odd or mad or immature.'

'His actions would say otherwise,' James mutters as he rolls his eyes.

Sirius ignores him. 'Jamie-boy, I am falling in love with him. I need him!' he pleads, widening his eyes as Padfoot does when desperation makes him resort to begging.

James rubs his face with both hands. 'Yes, Sirius, I understand that, but is stalking him the way to go about it?'

Sirius cannot believe that James is still questioning him on this matter. 'We're not stalking! We're merely observing!' he defends, his cheeks hot and red. Stalking is if Sirius goes to Remus's home and spies on him through the windows. Sirius is not a stalker. He also does not want to get arrested for trespassing. Coming to the carnival grounds, however, is perfectly acceptable as it is a public place and Sirius is merely _browsing _through the area Remus may or may not work in.

James breathes in and out four times before speaking calmly and logically. 'We could just go to his booth and talk to him,' he suggests, completely missing the point of this whole exercise. 'I'm sure he would have a good explanation.'

'But then that would show me of as desperate,' Sirius whines petulantly.

'Sirius,' James says, his voice wearing thin of patience, 'you have sent him four letters in four days and you are currently stalking him in a carnival. No one has any misconceptions about you _not _being desperate.'

Nonsense. James clearly does not know what he is talking about. 'Look, James,' Sirius appeals, 'you know I wouldn't be asking this of you if Prewett hadn't banned me from every single bouncy castle in this Merlin forsaken carnival.' He looks back at the bouncy castle in front of him; a perfect replica of Hogwarts and reminiscent of the very first day his eyes fell on the miracle that is Remus Lupin. It is ironic that the exact same bouncy castle would have a perfect view through the windows of Remus's medical cabin. 'My picture is up in every single booth as caution!' He points toward the guard sitting in the corner of the bouncy castle. He is in fact, the ticket master but Sirius refers to him as a guard because every time he comes within five feet of the castle, the man chases him away. All of the ticket masters have treated him similarly, as soon as they see the resemblance of the (rather fetching) photo stuck up on their booths with Sirius. The Prewetts are so thorough that they have even included a photo of Padfoot beside Sirius's, in case Sirius decides to go incognito. 'They are following my every move so I can't even sneak away to use the cloak! Also, you know I have terrible coordination in a crowd; Padfoot drives me insane.'

'Sirius, Padfoot is _you,' _James exclaims in exasperation. 'You don't see me complaining about my inner Animagus stag asking me to head butt everyone.'

James is lying, because that is exactly what James tries to do when he is drunk enough. Also, Sirius has it much worse since Padfoot always tries to coerce him into sniffing other people's bums. 'Come on, James, for the sake of friendship!'

Sirius knows from experience that despite the reluctant faces James is making, his friend will not deny him. Sure enough, James rubs his face with his hand, muttering about how much he is going to regret this as he grabs one of their two way mirrors from Sirius. He stomps off into a darker corner, away from prying eyes, to shrug on his invisibility cloak. Sirius follows the dips in the grass from James's footsteps with practiced ease. He waits for a few minutes, tapping his foot impatiently until James's voice resonates from the small pocket mirror in his hand. To a normal passer-by, Sirius looks like he's preening narcissistically (which is not unusual for him), but in actuality, it was a remote communication device he and James had used to pull pranks in their school days. These days, James uses it to check up on Sirius when he's late for work or ask advice about which tie he should buy. Horrible, boring, grown up things.

'He's not in.'

Sirius doesn't know why he bothers looking into the mirror; James is invisible. 'Are you even looking? I told you, you need to go up to the Astronomy Tower and jump really high.'

'I am jumping high! All I see is some woman.'

Sirius frowns and looks up where he knows the Astronomy Tower to be. Sure enough, there is an occasional shoe clad foot that appears, presumably when the cloak slides around with every jump. Judging by perceptual mathematics, James's jumps do not seem to be particularly enthusiastic. 'You are flopping!' Sirius spits in accusation. 'I asked you to jump!'

'If I jump any higher, Sirius, I will be flying with Merlin in heaven! These kids are already petrified because they think I'm some kind of evil ghost!' James hisses back angrily, through the obvious screams of terrified children. 'I am telling you, he's not in! There is some woman with blond hair sitting there instead, reading the Prophet.'

'Well, maybe he's-' Sirius stops dead when he feels a hand rest on his shoulder. Swallowing, he turns back to see one of the Prewett twins (he still can't differentiate them) looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

'I got a call from security that a certain black haired individual was loitering around all our bouncy castles, displaying very suspicious behaviour,' Prewett explains calmly, folding his arms over his chest. His chocolate brown eyes bear deep into Sirius's grey, clearly displeased and unsympathetic. 'Imagine my surprise when I come over to check and it's none other than the illustrious Sirius Black.' Prewett's deadpan voice told Sirius that he has not in the least bit surprised. 'What are you doing here, Black?' He asked sharply when Sirius showed very little remorse for his actions.

'I came to see Remus,' Sirius mumbles when he realises that Prewett has thought one step ahead of him and blocked all signs of exit. Running will be futile.

Prewett's jaw tightens as he frowns, his ginger eyebrows practically touching. 'You need a very different sort of Healer if you're looking for medical attention in a bouncy castle. Now tell me the real reason you are here.' He taps his foot loudly as he waits, so that Sirius feels like every tap is actually the tick of a clock.

Padfoot has already deemed Prewett's stern glare as a sign of being a bad dog and is making Sirius avoid those awful accusing eyes. Sirius considers many excuses but finds that they all come short of one thing: common sense. So he settles on squaring his shoulders and simply telling the truth, 'I'm spying on Remus.'

Surprisingly, Prewett looks unperturbed; as if people spying on Remus is an everyday occurrence. Sirius sincerely hopes not, for the sake of his already fragile heart. He hopes Prewett's stoicism is only a result of his professionalism. 'Well, he isn't here,' he informs Sirius tightly.

'I told you so!' James's voice hollers from the mirror in Sirius's hand.

'What was that?' Prewett asks, looking around in alarm for the source of the voice.

Sirius quickly stuffs the mirror back in his pocket, mentally cursing James and his big mouth. 'Nothing,' he dismisses with a wave of his hand. 'Where is he? I've tried to contact him, but haven't had any luck.'

Prewett doesn't reply him immediately, his eyes regarding him with caution as if sizing him up. Sirius isn't sure what exactly Prewett is looking for, but it has him wondering if the man knows about him and Remus going out. Remus did mention that their families were close. For the first time, Sirius feels conscious and a little bit inadequate. He hopes that he appears fit for a person as wonderful as Remus. 'Remus is on bed rest,' Prewett says finally, when the silence threatens to make Sirius internally combust. 'The Full took a toll on him this time, but he refuses to go to Mungo's for help.' He shrugs, trying to look nonchalant but his stance betrays his worry. 'You know how they tend to treat werewolves there; shoving ten of them in one room and giving them the bare minimum. He really hates it. Last I checked on him, his parents were tending to him since he can barely even get out of bed. That must be on…' He scratches his rough chin as he tries to remember. 'Wednesday.'

It is Friday today.

Sirius feels like a fool for not even considering the full moon. He has never considered Remus's lycanthropy a massive issue, but to disregard it completely is cruel and apathetic. He has created all this fuss and grief over nothing, when Remus is probably in a lot of pain and suffering. Perhaps Remus is even wondering why Sirius has not visited him once.

'James,' he says loud enough for his voice to carry through to the mirror in his pocket. 'Abort whatever you are doing now.' He takes a deep breath, squares his shoulder and says with steely determination, 'We have a new mission to undertake.'

He ignores the loud groan that answers back.

* * *

For some reason, Sirius has always imagined that Remus looks like his mother. Perhaps it is because of Remus's body, wiry but bordering on too thin. Or perhaps it is because of his bright amber eyes and his curly lashes. It may also be because Sirius thinks Remus is the prettiest person he has ever seen and it is very hard to imagine that Remus may have inherited such beauty from a middle aged man. This is not to say that Mrs. Lupin is not pretty; but Mr. Lupin is, oddly enough, much prettier. There is very little difference between the two Lupin men, except perhaps that Mr. Lupin appears a bit more filled out and has slightly darker brown hair. His age also shows through in the fine lines around his eyes and mouth, but it enhances his looks rather than taking away from it.

'Hello,' Mrs. Lupin says in a friendly tone, though her blue eyes regard him with caution.

'Ah, hello,' Sirius greets, shuffling his feet with a sudden bout of nervousness. Somehow, he did not anticipate meeting Remus's parents will be this stressful. 'I'm here to visit Remus. Prewett mentioned that he isn't doing too well.'

'Oh!' Mrs. Lupin's demeanour changes and her stance is much more inviting. She allows him in through the front door. Mr. Lupin who had gotten off his couch upon Sirius's arrival also relaxes and sits back down with his paper. Sirius wonders who exactly they were expecting him to be, to be so guarded. 'Do come in. I'm afraid Remus is only doing slightly better today. His wounds have healed, but he's terribly tired. I think he's asleep so he might not be the best of company.' She closes the door behind her. 'I'm sorry, dear, I didn't quite catch your name.'

'Sirius,' Sirius replies distractedly. He really only wants to see Remus and wishes Mrs. Lupin would stop talking already so he can go into Remus's bedroom.

'Sirius? I don't think he's ever mentioned you,' Mrs. Lupin says thoughtfully, tapping a finger to her chin. 'Are you friend of Remus's from work?'

Sirius frowns, a little disgruntled that Remus has not mentioned him to his parents even once after two wonderfully eventful dates. 'No, I am his boyfriend,' he presumes this, though he has not yet asked Remus officially yet.

Mrs. Lupin's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline in surprise and she turns her head to look at her husband. There are unintelligible sounds coming out of her mouth and Sirius cannot fathom why she is so incapable of speech. Surely it is not so hard to imagine a handsome man like Sirius to be anybody's boyfriend.

Mr. Lupin, on the other hand, looks nonplussed and turns a page of the newspaper he is reading. 'I always did tell you he was gay,' he says conversationally, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 'This should really not come as a surprise to you after all these years.'

It seems Sirius has ousted Remus to his parents.

'Er…' Lily has always scolded Sirius for lack of timing, but Sirius has never truly felt the truth behind her words until now. 'Perhaps I should come back later?' he asks reluctantly, turning to go when Mrs. Lupin jaw is hanging so low it threatens to hinge off. 'Maybe once you've dealt with the whole,' Sirius waves his hands around, trying to find a tactful way to say it, 'my son is a ponce thing.' Suffice to say, tact is not Sirius's strong point. 'Er…' he shuffles awkwardly when Mrs. Lupin replies him with silence. It is not a cruel silence at least, he reassures himself. It seems more like she is trying not to have a heart attack which is marginally better.

'Go in, Sirius. Hope will bring along some tea later once she's recovered,' Mr. Lupin gives his permission, still not looking up from his paper.

Sirius does not need to be told twice and rushes to Remus's bedroom before either of the Lupins change their mind. To Sirius's disappointment, Remus is fast asleep. His lack of propriety has him poking Remus in the shoulder and calling his name a few times to wake the werewolf, but Remus does not respond at all. Not to be downtrodden easily, Sirius instead takes the opportunity to stare at Remus inappropriately. True to Mrs. Lupin's words, there are no traces of wounds or physical suffering. Remus looks as beautiful as ever. The only indication of any sort of hardship are the large circles under his eyes and the feverish sheen of sweat layered over his pale skin. As Sirius leans down to lay a kiss to Remus's hot forehead, he is struck with the need to help. He wants to make things better for Remus, so he does the only thing he knows will help.

He turns into Padfoot, jumps onto the bed and snuggles under the covers, careful not to put too much of his weight on the werewolf. Sirius knows his Animagus form is not exactly a lap dog. It isn't that Padfoot is fat; he is just a big boned dog. Sirius has read in many places that dogs are good for healing. Also, Padfoot is a perfect excuse for Sirius to sleep in Remus's bed without having Remus's mother go into complete cardiac arrest.

Unfortunately, Mrs. Lupin is still surprised when she comes into Remus's room, dropping the tray of tea and biscuits she is carrying. Somehow, she interprets Padfoot's affectionate licking as a large black bear trying to eat her son and she screams bloody murder. It doesn't wake Remus up, but it is enough to have Mr. Lupin come running with his wand out. Mr. Lupin later explains to Sirius that Mrs. Lupin is a muggle and did not really know about Animaguses and wizards turning to animals by will until today. Sirius thinks her reaction is ridiculous since her son turns into a werewolf every month, but does not express his opinion. He has caused enough mental damage to the Lupins today. He leaves after that, afraid that the longer he stays, the more harm he does to poor Mrs. Lupin who seems close to having a meltdown. _Bad dog_, a voice that sounds like Lily scolds him as he walks back to his motorbike.

When he goes home, he sends his sixth owl in five days. In it, he writes:

_Remus/Moony,_

_Our third date at my place, Sunday night. I'm cooking._

_Later, we may have tea._

_Get well soon._

_Doggy Kisses,_

_Sirius_

* * *

'Lily, I am having a crisis,' Sirius states urgently, through Floo call to the Potters on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Lily looks up from feeding Harry to the fireplace, and then shrieks. 'Oh my God, Sirius, you are on fire!' She cries, dropping the jar of baby food in her hands in terror. She rushes to the fireplace and kneels in front of him with her wand at the ready.

'What?' Sirius is taken aback at her concern and then realises that there is copious amounts of grey smoke coming through his fireplace to the Potters and polluting their dining room. 'Oh, you mean the smoke?' He laughs, coughs a little and waves it off. 'No, no, that's my chicken burning. Or maybe it's my potatoes. I really can't tell anymore.'

Lily makes that face, as she does every time Sirius is around. It is a mixture of disbelief, exasperation, and a need to strangle. She is about to stand up, when she frowns as if in realisation. 'Wait, you said burning,' she states the obvious, as she looks at the smoke still billowing out of her fireplace. 'Sirius, have you turned the oven off.' Sirius doesn't even need to admit that he hasn't thought of it. She reads his face perfectly and with a cry of horror, she throws Floo powder into the fireplace and barges into Sirius's flat with all the finesse of a drunken elephant. She roughly shoves him to the side, coughing from fumes so thick that Sirius can barely see his hands in front of his face. She vanishes the smoke with a quick swish of her wand and turns off his oven. 'Sirius, you irresponsible bastard!' She rounds on him, her green eyes boring into his furiously. 'You will stand right here while I bring my son,' she commands. 'Then, I am going to tell you off properly. Don't move a fucking muscle!'

Sirius does as he is told. He is rebellious, but not suicidal. He much rather give up his dignity than suffer the wrath of Lily Evans when she is in a colossal strop. He waits with his hands clasped at the back and his feet apart in a triangle, bouncing on the balls of his feet occasionally because he is Sirius Black and he has too much energy bundled in his core to be still for a single moment. When Lily finally comes through the Floo with Harry in her arms, he closes his eyes and waits for the inevitable lecture that she is going to give him.

'Sirius Black,' Lily whisper screams because she doesn't want to startle Harry, who already looks like he has had a good cry on behalf of Sirius's burning potatoes. 'I do not understand how a grown man can be so thoughtless and irresponsible! If you have time to give me a call in times of crisis, why do you not have the common sense to turn off the oven first?' She shoves a finger into his face, her face matching her bright red hair. 'Your house could have caught fire! _You _could have caught fire! Sirius, do not laugh! I am serious! You could have been hurt!'

Sirius covers his mouth with his hand to stifle his giggles. 'Lily Evans, you actually care about me.' His laughter is abruptly cut off by a sharp slap to his cheek. Sirius is hit with a sense of déjà vu; it seems getting slapped by Lily Evans is becoming something of a norm for him.

'Of course I care about you, you twat!' She replies angrily. 'I can't believe you would ever think otherwise.' Sirius would have felt touched by her sentiment if she had not slapped him again on the other cheek before turning to his blackened oven. 'Now, tell me why you were attempting to cook when we all know you have the culinary skills of a hippogriff with no limbs?'

Sirius rubs his sore cheeks. 'I have a dinner date tonight with Remus and I told him I would cook,' he mumbles, looking at the mess he has made of dinner with disdain. The kitchen itself is in shambles; unidentifiable stains everywhere, random splatters of oil on the wall, potato skins on the floor, and charred flakes of black where Lily pulled out the burnt remains in haste.

'Oh Sirius,' Lily sighs exasperatedly. 'Couldn't you have just taken him out for a movie? Must you always make things difficult?' Despite her condescending tone, she is already rolling up her sleeves and shooting cleaning spells around the kitchen. 'I know you want to impress this bloke, but if he has agreed on a third date, then I would say that he has accepted worse sides of you than just being a bad cook.'

'But I want him to think I'm cool!' Sirius whines so petulantly that even Harry frowns at him. Sirius sticks his tongue out at his Godchild, who retaliates back in kind. 'Also, I don't know how else to apologise for outing him to his parents. Or for frightening his mother into an early heart attack. Or sending him half a dozen angry owls when he was sick. Or-'

'All right, all right!' Lily interrupts before Sirius can finish, her palms up. 'If you were to list everything you did wrong, we're going to be standing here forever. Just, go play with Harry while I salvage something out of this mess you made.' She shoos him away and Sirius might have been disgruntled, but he is too busy being relieved that he will not be serving Remus burnt potatoes.

'Third date today, Harry,' Sirius sing songs, as he bounces his Godson in his arms as they walk to the living room. 'Do you know what that means?' He is courteous enough to let Harry gurgle and babble his guesses before answering excitedly. 'It means Uncle Sirius has bought a new box of condoms.' Harry claps both his hands together in congratulations. 'Not that I'm being presumptuous,' he explains then realises that Harry would not understand such a big word. 'That means, to boldly assume. So, not that I am being presumptuous, but my arse does look very fetching in these jeans and Remus would be hard pressed to resist me. Once I'm done impressing him with my bedroom prowess, I'll ask him to be my boyfriend. He will of course say yes.' Harry starts to lean forwards, wanting to be put down so that he can run around Sirius's carpeted floors. 'You know, Harry, I feel like you're the only one I can talk to about my love life these days,' Sirius sighs, plopping on to the sofa as he watches his Godson curiously turn the knobs of the television. 'It used to be your father before this, but ever since he's married your mother he's been acting all mature. It's as if he hasn't got any time for me anymore, what with your mum now trying to get him new friends. The kind with families and children, and _maturity_. You know, if things work out today, Remus and I will be like a family. Then your mummy will _have _to invite me to these parties.' He shares a grin with Harry, who is now jumping up and down on the balls of his feet, using Sirius's coffee table as leverage. 'You know, Harry, I get the feeling that you aren't listening to me either.' Sirius huffs when Harry confirms his statement by trying to eat some form of dirt he finds under the coffee table.

Sirius shrugs and turns on the telly. Harry is not a troublesome baby and simply settles down on his diapered bottom, watching cartoons with his Godfather. Sirius dimly considers cleaning Harry's dirty fingers which has made purchase on more fluff bunnies found under Sirius's sofa. But then he realises that Lily is not here, and sometimes a man (even one as small as Harry) must be allowed to do what he wants to do without the interference of women.

Soon enough the whole flat is starting to smell like good food and Sirius's mouth waters. He thanks Merlin that Lily Evans is middle class and therefore has grown up cooking her own meals rather than having house elves do it. Sirius respects that she has kept true to her roots despite being married to James, who insists on employing the luxuries he himself has grown up with in the Potter home. Sirius is just about to commend Lily on how fantastic of a woman she truly is (and sneak in some puppy kisses because Padfoot likes to share his love), when the doorbell rings. Sirius leaps out of the sofa so quickly that he stumbles on both his feet and nearly falls on his face. By the time he catches his balance, Lily is already at the door with a smile so wicked that Sirius feels his heart drop.

'Hello, Remus, nice to meet you again!'

Sirius practically runs to the door, shoving Lily out of the way and then leaning against the door frame in what he hopes is an effortlessly cool way. He brushes his hair out of face and does his best smouldering gaze, as he greets Remus, 'Hey.' He winks and grins, ignoring Lily's eye roll. Sirius makes no attempt to conceal the way his eyes rove over Remus, taking in the oddly appealing brown corduroys and dark green t-shirt. His white healer's coat is hanging over his shoulder in a neat rectangle and Sirius's dirty mind already starts to conjure up all the fun they can have with it later.

'Can I come in?' Remus asks drily, his lips quirking in an amused smile.

Sirius only then realises that he has been staring at Remus for a good five minutes with the daftest (besotted) expression on his face. 'Oh! Yes, of course!' He exclaims, moving aside to let Remus in. 'Lily was also just leaving, wasn't she?' He looks at Lily pointedly, hoping she will leave soon and not sabotage anything. 'She had to work long hours today, so I was taking care of Harry for her.' Harry takes the opportune time to fall over while waddling on his unsteady legs and then burst out crying. 'See, he's missing me already. Can't be away from his Godfather for a second.' He laughs weakly as he helps Remus hang his coat.

Remus is wearing that amused expression again, as he walks towards Harry and picks him up. 'Hello, love,' he coos and Lily mimics him, sounding more pigeon than human. Lily says she has a soft spot for men with babies, but Sirius knows that it is actually a fetish for gruff men being cute and gentle. 'Do you remember me?' Remus asks, bouncing Harry up and down to make him laugh while checking for any possible injuries.

'You really are brilliant with children,' Lily fawns, her emerald eyes glittering with adoration. Her Northern accent, which she has repressed in the face of being Mrs. Potter, is creeping back up when faced with another fellow Northerner. However, where Remus's Geordie is pleasant and almost musical to Sirius's ears, Lily's Yorkshire sounds garish and comical. To Sirius's chagrin, the two Northerners have gone off their own tangents and are enthusiastically chatting about all things Northern (and rather common, in Sirius's opinion). There is a spark and chemistry between them that makes Sirius insanely jealous. After loudly coughing a few times to get their attention and failing miserably, Sirius finally gives in to his inner Padfoot and leaps between them like the attention craving whore he is.

'Lily, I believe you said you had some urgent business to attend to?' Sirius practically, growls, picking Harry up by the arm pits and depositing him into Lily's arms. 'I know how little time you have every day, what with your schedule,' He wraps an arm around her shoulders, steering her towards the front door and _away _from Remus. 'And it's almost Harry's bedtime, too. Poor chap can barely keep his eyes open.' He opens the door, kisses both Harry and Lily on the cheek and then closes it just as Lily waves goodbye to Remus. 'Ready for dinner?' He asks, turning to face Remus with a grin. 'We have…' Sirius realises he has no idea what Lily has managed to cook and falters. '…food! I'm sure you're famished.'

Remus laughs, allowing Sirius to take his hand and lead him to the dining room, where Lily has not only laid the table but also set the atmosphere by enchanting floating candles around the room. 'Smells lovely,' Remus comments, sitting down on the chair Sirius pulls up for him. 'I must admit, I was a little apprehensive at first, but knowing that Lily cooked dinner tonight alleviates my worry.' He chuckles when Sirius blushes abashedly. 'Did you really think I was so daft as to believe you would actually cook? Sit down now, and you can start by serving me some chicken and apologising for scarring my mother for life.'

After that, Sirius must admit that his date goes swimmingly well. He has made very amusing conversation throughout dinner; not said anything too stupid (except for when he admits to Remus's dad being very beautiful); and even makes Remus salivate when he brings out the chocolate ice cream (and concedes to being only slightly jealous). By the time they settle down with some nice warm Indian chai on the sofa in front of the telly, Sirius is so besotted with Remus that he cannot see straight. In fact, he doesn't even know what they are watching; can barely hear beyond unintelligible sounds and the rapid beating of his heart. He is also pretty sure that he has lost all hand eye coordination because he has dribbled tea down his front more than once.

'You've got tea all over your shirt,' Remus confirms, laughing and wiping the front of Sirius's shirt with his hand. It only has the stain spreading further and also sends Sirius's heart into frenzy. 'Best take it off, before it makes any more of a mess.'

Sirius's face is close to combustion, but he complies and quickly takes it off.

Remus's eyes widen and he moves back a little. 'Whoa!' he cries, putting his hands up. 'I meant, you should go to your room and change. You really have no concept of foreplay, do you?' Padfoot confirms this by barking, _hump, hump, hump,_ in Sirius's head. 'You've been watching too much porn if you thought that was an invitation for sex.' Sirius is utterly mortified. His streak of not doing anything stupid has burned to ashes and his face is already aflame. Thankfully, Remus does not seem disgusted and only laughs as he places a warm hand in the centre of Sirius's naked chest. 'Oh well, it would be a shame to let this opportunity go to waste.' His hand wanders down to Sirius's stomach, then curls around his waist and pulls him closer so that their chests are touching. 'Bedroom?'

Sirius is sure he faints after this, because there is a huge gap in his memory and he cannot remember how he and Remus actually end up in the bedroom. He is almost completely sure that they were sat in front of the telly not seconds ago. Yet, he is now laid on his back, shirtless and with his fly open, as Remus kisses his neck. He sincerely hopes Remus has not noticed his sudden spell of unconsciousness. To make up for it, Sirius runs his hand up Remus's back and under his shirt, and pulls the werewolf into a scorching kiss. Remus is right in the sense that Sirius does not bother with foreplay and pushes his tongue insistently into Remus's mouth, warring and battling until Remus is left out of breath. When they finally pull apart, they are both panting and Remus looks down at him with wide amber eyes, dilated with lust. Sirius uses Remus's daze to take hold of Remus's waist and flip them over. He makes short work of Remus's t-shirt and trousers, leaving the werewolf in only his boxers and socks (Sirius has read somewhere that sex is better when your feet are warm).

'Sirius,' Remus moans, when Sirius starts a hot trail down the man's chest (tonguing each nipple), his stomach (dipping his tongue into his bellybutton), his hips (nipping at each bone), and then finally _lower_. At times like this, Sirius has very little control over his inner Animagus and is thus pushing his groin against Remus's leg needily, even as his mouth busies itself. His tongue works in broad, quick strokes and his cheeks hollow. His hands are already preparing Remus for the love making Sirius has boasted to his Godson about; only stopping to caress Remus's inner thighs and bring them to wrap around his waist. Sirius's enthusiasm and lust make up for his lack of patience. Remus is not even given a chance to breathe in between moans; his whole body arching high off the bed and his fingers trembling as they card through Sirius's hair.

When Sirius finally replaces his fingers with himself, Remus is panting. Sirius holds the man's chin between his forefinger and thumb, urging him to open his eyes and _look. _When their eyes finally meet, silver on gold, Sirius feels his breath taken away by how beautiful Remus is and how much his heart swells just from just looking at him (_Awoooo, _Padfoot howls in adoration). Remus smiles warmly, almost as if he knows exactly what Sirius is feeling, and slowly leans forward to pull them into a kiss. He allows Remus to set their pace; a slow and steady roll of hips that takes Sirius in deeper with each move. Sirius leans their foreheads together, clutching Remus's waist tightly and gasping every time their hips meet. He watches every change of expression on Remus's face; every drop of sweat that rolls down the side of his neck; and every flex of muscle as it strains and pulses under Sirius.

He only lets his eyes drop shut when he feels his orgasm near, sliding a hand between their bodies to grasp Remus. When they come, they do so together; Sirius seeing bursts of white light behind his eyelids. He collapses on top of Remus afterwards, his limbs feeling like jelly. The werewolf certainly isn't complaining; slim, pale fingers running through Sirius's sweat soaked hair. Sirius can feel Remus's heart beating thunderously inside his chest, skin warm and soft underneath Sirius's palm.

'Remus?' Sirius asks, as he tries to catch his breath. When Remus hums, he reluctantly lifts his head from where it is nestled under Remus's chin to look up at the werewolf. 'Will you be my boyfriend?' Somehow, in Sirius's head where he's rehearsed this moment many, many times, the question did not make him sound so much a like a teenage girl. In fact, only yesterday, his bathroom mirror had told him that he looked very dashing during his confession.

'I thought I already was,' Remus replies with a laugh. 'My mum would be horribly upset if she knew you lied to her.'

* * *

'Remus!' Fabian's infuriated scream rings outside the medical cabin so loud that Remus nearly slips out of his chair in fright. 'Remus, your mutt is going to drive me bankrupt!' Fabian storms in, his eyes blazing as he settles his gaze on Remus. 'Get him out of here this very moment!'

'Oh, Sirius did mention he would pick me up today,' Remus states almost nonchalantly, walking to his window. Sure enough, he can see a black dog, tongue lolling and bouncing high on all four of its limbs on the Astronomy Tower. Remus is surprised that this time he hears no children screaming in terror or adults complaining about Grims in the carnival. When Remus waves, Padfoot's tail starts wagging in excitement and he bounces so high that Remus is afraid he might topple right over. 'I'm coming,' he mouths with a smile and one last wave, before turning to Fabian. 'All right, let's go. My shift is over anyway, so I'll take him out of your hands.'

'Remus, I want him out of my life!' Fabian spits, starting to fast walk towards the Hogwarts Bouncy Castle. 'I have security watching him all the time and yet, he manages to slip by using that bloody Animagus of his! The only reason I can't ban him permanently is because of his last name and his affiliation with the Potters.' He runs a frustrated hand through his hair and Remus can clearly see that Fabian is at the end of his wits. 'Do you know what he did today, Remus? Do you?'

Remus probably does, but he doesn't mention it to Fabian because then the other man will find out that Remus actually finds everything Sirius does utterly adorable and hilarious. Nearly a year of dating and Remus has still not gotten over the novelty of Sirius's silliness despite warnings from multiple people. If anything, they have moved surprisingly quickly; already sharing a home together and being invited to the Potter's "couple parties". It is mostly because Sirius is an impulsive little bugger who manages to have Remus going with his flow (which is sort of like the forceful piss you have when you've held it in for very, very long). The only reason they are not already married is because Remus is afraid his mum might stop breathing all together from the bombarding of information.

'That twat sneaked in through the backdoor of Florean Fortescue's and ate an entire tub of ice cream. Then he hung out in the haunted houses and terrorised all the children _and _adults by leaping on them. _Then _he enchanted all the crystal balls in the Divination tent to show pornography and lewd messages! Now, he's wreaking havoc in the most expensive bouncy castle in the world and if he makes Hogwarts collapse one more time, I swear to Merlin…' Fabian illustrates exactly what he plans to do by clasping his hands together in a wringing motion.

Remus knows Sirius has already spotted him at the gates, because he can see a blur of black dog bounding from window to window. Padfoot's enthusiasm, like his human counterpart, is uncontained. He is running from Astronomy Tower to the Divination Classroom, down the staircases and through hallways, stopping in classes. As he runs, he stops at every third window to bounce playfully and say hello to Remus with a mighty bark. Remus waves every single time, grinning foolishly and making Fabian roll his eyes.

'Why must you date that prick? I always thought you were the smartest and most sensible person I've ever met. You live in a clean home, you do your taxes, you earn money honestly; why, Remus, _why?' _Fabian laments in what Remus thinks is a gross overreaction.

Sirius is not so bad honestly. He is fun and he always makes Remus laugh, even on the worst of days. He is ridiculously good looking, kind, and he adores Remus to pieces. He even helps out during Remus's transformations and while Remus's parents are still a little intimidated by him, Sirius has learned not to do or say anything that might potentially send Remus's mother to an early grave. It is no wonder that Remus feels a little bit giddy when he sees a large black dog transform into a man, as it leaps through the castle gates. Despite having already transformed, he still barrels into Remus with all the affection and excitement in the world, and peppers his face with kisses.

'Miss me?' Remus asks, with a laugh; not bothering to stop Sirius even when Fabian shoots him a disgusted look. He tucks Sirius's black hair behind his ear, the same hand moving down to trace his high cheekbones, his square and slightly stubbly jaw, and his thin pink lips. Grey eyes close, short but thick dark lashes fluttering in pleasure from the attention. _I love you, _Remus wants to say but doesn't know a less sappy way to say it in public. He vows to do so when they are alone, along with much, _much _more. 'Let's go home, love.' He says, wrapping an arm around Sirius's waist and kissing him softly. They both tune out Fabian's warnings of 'the mutt never coming back here'.

As they walk away, Remus looks back one last time at the castle. He has never been to Hogwarts before; his lycanthropy had robbed him of the opportunity to do so. But he thinks if it is anything like this carnival castle, then it must be a wondrous place. After all, it is how he met Sirius. To many, Sirius in a bouncy castle may spell disaster, but to Remus it is where he has found love. Thus, in his mind, he newly inaugurates it, the Hogwarts Bouncy Castle _of Love._

* * *

**End**

**Too cheesy? I can't help it. Remus and Sirius are just that cute in my quirky imagination. If you liked it, don't forget to review!**


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